I can't

As I watch my two-year-old neice grow and change, I quickly realized that we are at the "I can't" stage in her development. The minute she tries something that may be difficult for her, or she fails at: her first response is to whine "I can't. The term I can't is born out of frustration, and simply translates into "I'm tired of trying."

Don't we all feel like that at some point? To see that demonstrated by a two-year- old makes me so angry. I quickly deny her help and say " yes you can." She eventually becomes more frustrated that her pleas are going ignored, than she is by the task at hand that she quickly reaches her victory.

I can't was never a part of my, daily, vocabulary. Mainly because it was not option. I refused to give myself that "out." In and out of hospitals, I clearly saw children who were given that as an option. Some rightfully needed it, some were just given it and relied on it. I didn't want to be the kid who didn't do anything because "I can't" I saw the depth of regret that could turn into. At six and seven I knew that I wanted to be more than what I was. I wanted to play with more than I was given.

I had a desire to transcend far beyond the limitations thrust upon me.So life was not about "I can't" it was like I have to.

My neice got me thinking are we ever limited? Or do we limit ourselves. I believe the later to be true. So then the question arises why would we limit ourselves? I think the biggest part of human nature is to avoid failure. That has exsisted since the dawn of time, and not something easy to evolve out of. To give up feels much better than failing. We control giving up. Failure is something that "happes." While giving up is something that we decide.

A conscious decision to continue, in spite of adversity has to be made, and commited to. How many of us have said we can do something, only to concede the moment we feel out of our depth? I think we would all admit we have been guilty of that at one poit or another.I'm no exception. However, I know if I can't than it wont ever happen. That's not acceptable.

I went to the grocery store the other day, and that was far more frustrating than I wanted it to be. I felt like everything I wanted was, about 2 feet over my head. I stood in asile waiting for people to come down and join me in the asile. Mom's with children, men who had no clue what they were in the store for, and store employees were all targeted by me. "Can you hand me blueberries?" "Can you see what flavors of hummus are on that top shelf?" Some looked at me. like I was insane. Some people were clearly uncomfortable with my request. I thought to myself "I need to ask you to hand me a box of waffles, but you're uncomfortable.?"

I left the strore frustrated, because I was there almost 2 hours, and only bought 60 dollars worth of groceries. As I was loading the bags into my car, 1 at a time, a man approached. He said "M'aam Can I help you?" I almost said "No, I got it." Which is my typical default response. Instead I accepted his offer. It was so nice to be offered  be help, and not feel like I was begging for help. He put all my bags in my car, and I pulled out with the biggest smile on my face!