What is it that separates changing your mind from giving up on your current situation? That's a good question, isn't it? It's a question that I've recently been challenged with.
I've always advocated living with passion. I always tried, my best, to live my life by that. If I don't have passion for it I feel it's not worth doing. That being said; I've noticed that my passion has been guided by the possibility of success. I found myself locked in my comfort zone. I rarely venture outside of things that I'm good at. That probably explains why I've resigned myself to being an eternal student. However, as I've gotten older my priorities have changed. It's no longer the possibility for success that drives my passions. It's the other way around, as it should be.
I'm struggling to get to the most recent goal that I've set. I've lost the passion for it. One might ask "which came first the chicken or the egg? Did I lose passion because I'm struggling? Or am I struggling because I lost passion? After much introspection I can say with 100% clarity that I don't have the passion to propel me forward in this direction. While trying to make myself feel something I no longer do I'm making myself miserable. I'm not in pursuit of a passion, right now. I'm pursuing SUCCESS. I'm going after a way to make a life for myself, in which I'm well paid and live a comfortable life. A career in medicine is something great and something that I did have passion for. At some point down this path that passion fell apart, where it is merely fragments that lay at my side.
When you put your focus on what your heart wants often your ideal changes. So yes, you can have a change heart the minute you let yourself be guided by it. Once I quiet the practical brain I see I'm not having a "change of heart" A change of heart is when you allow yourself to be guided and fueled by a passion that may lead you down an impractical path. "Giving up is a conscious decision to stop trying altogether.
I've never given up on anything in my entire life! However, I do reserve the right to to have a "change of heart."
Sometimes it is not about "losing the passion" but "patiently waiting for things to fall into place."
ReplyDeleteI have always had passion for the album I wrote. But I was struggling to get it out there. When I was on vacation in NY this year, I did open mic night at a bar called Vines and Hops. A fellow artist told me about CDBaby, and I had to wait till I got home to put the CD out there. Now look where I am.
so for me it was neither a change of heart, nor giving up, but patiently waiting for the right opportunity.