The superstition of being "well."

I'm sure we've all experienced the feeling of "this is too good to be true." Bathed in euphoria as a persistent thought floats in and out of our consciousness: "This can't last." I've heard this in reference to: lovers in new relationships, excited new employees who feel they've landed the perfect job. However, there is one group that this feeling resonates with, louder than any other.



Ask any person that has battled, fought, or beat any disease, illness, disorder and they'll tell you that fleeting thought of "this can't last" strikes utter panic amidst the euphoria of feeling "well." In a misguided attempt to hold on to your "victory a superstition can take root. With each passing minute, hour, and day the superstition grows bigger.



I woke up the other day and realized that I haven't had a seizure in 6 months. I wanted to shout that from the mountain tops but I quickly hushed myself. "Shhh you don't wanna jinx this." I did the same thing when medication was reduced and I was still seizure free. Even as I type this a small voice is echoing that superstition so loudly I can barely hear my own thoughts. - I said I've been seizure free 6 months. In saying that did I ruin the possibility for 7 months?



Health is such a continuum with an ever changing status. I WAS seizure free for over a year. What about the woman who's Breast Cancer WAS in remission? Or the little girl who WAS doing so well in physical therapy? Or when my mom WAS making progress?
What is it that transforms the "is" or "am" that belongs in those sentences to "WAS?" Is it some silly jinx? Is it a matter of counting our chickens before they hatch? Maybe it simply is the fact that things ebb and flow. Life has peeks and it also has valleys. That includes the status of your health.



The challenge is to temper caution with optimism. Find a way to stand upon those peeks and shout "I FEEL GREAT!" when you do, while maintaing a healthy respect for a valley that is just beneath you. There will always be an "is" that will become a "was" or an "am" about to be an "am NOT." The only "jinx" there is is the one in your head that will cheat you and everyone who loves you out of the joy of acknowledging the fact that you're feeling well and thriving!



As for me: I'm doing great! I'm back in my car, off one medication, got my hair cut and am back to living my life the way I'm use to. Oh yea .... I'm still SEIZURE FREE! (shhh ... don't tell the part of me that hasn't fully given up the superstition that I told you!)